Share the Journey

Around the age of four children, who are naturally curious, learn one of the most glorious words in the English language–Why? This single word–tiny and unassuming–is the key to knowledge and, more importantly, the development of true understanding. Of ourselves. The people and world around us.

Each time we ask why we are developing our curiosity and gaining additional knowledge. Expanding our minds and discovering new worlds. Such a small word, but it is the key to a magical universe where everything seems twinkly, exciting, and new.

It’s not uncommon for a small child to ask a successive string of whys that exhaust his or her parents, or anyone else who will respond (as is the case for the poor guy in the Hyundai video below). Each why provides new information which, of course, requires additional questions.

But somewhere along the way we no longer question everything. We accept the status quo and the narratives learned from others…You can’t do this. You should never do that. Don’t say this. Don’t question authority. Don’t rock the boat.

And so we follow the leader and fall in line. People who question everything, yet succeed, are considered renegades. People who question everything, and just annoy the hell out of us are branded rule breakers (or words that are a lot worse). But maybe these folks are onto something.

Let’s clarify. I’m not advocating being a jerk, or questioning things just for the sake of teeing everyone else off. I’m talking about questioning everything we don’t understand, or that doesn’t seem right. Not questioning others  for the sake of demonstrating that we’re smarter, but because we really want to know; need to know.

As a society, we view questioning everything–especially authority–with a negative connotation. But valid questions from our children, spouse, friends, or employees don’t have to be a slight against us. In fact, they might be the impetus for a breakthrough, a new discovery, a better way of doing things. So rather than taking exception with a sincere question, why not view it as a learning opportunity? We should encourage our children to question everything; but teach them to do it appropriately.

Questioning everything isn’t just about questioning others. Some of the most important questions we can ask are those we ask ourselves.

What do I really want? Why do I always do this? Why didn’t I say no? Does this person/thing/habit really serve my purpose?

We can learn a lot about ourselves when we ask these questions, then dig down deep to find the honest answers–even if it reveals some ugly truth we’d rather avoid. We are so much better for having asked–and answered–them.

Writers–a curious lot–often ask this question of their characters. Why is she doing this? Why would he say that? Why wouldn’t he just say he loves her? The answers to these questions often require us to dig deeper into our characters to discover hidden secrets of which even we–their creators–weren’t aware. It also helps us to use that knowledge to shape the character and make him behave in a manner that is believable, true to his character, and moves our story forward.

Why? Such a powerful word. Has asking why helped you reach an epiphany in the past?  Does the thought of questioning the status quo unnerve you? Why or why not?